I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize