You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
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