Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Everclear isn't food dammit
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
