After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
only you would photoshop your dick
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
