hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
