And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
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