Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
The power of my boobs compel you
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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