can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
