dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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