what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
the liver wants what the liver wants
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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