so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
