We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
