Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
