Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize