we're making bets on your personal life
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
soo... how was my night?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
