Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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