This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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