I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
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