why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
