just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize