I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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