i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
