i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
