Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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