So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
