I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
