ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
