I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
