I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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