I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
