He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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