In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
