And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
