You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
