im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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