look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
