We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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