The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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