im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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