Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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