My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
