She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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