It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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