I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
My vagina is officially offended.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
