I have demons in me.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Is it because I queefed?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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