I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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