this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize