Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
