hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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