it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize