Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize