Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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