toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
