When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
