You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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