it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize