that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
