Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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