you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
foreskin is a definite game changer
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize