Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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