Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
