Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
