I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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