she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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