Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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