drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
