Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize