I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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