I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Define "chronic" masturbator.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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