I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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